Getting fingered

It’s an economical sexual activity, that if done right draws very little attention. Yep, even in public. So far, I’ve been fingered on a PIA flight, in a hostel’s bathroom amidst swarming cockroaches (nasty that one), and once in a library.
I generally avoid the railway stations because while it’s delicious to get fingered- I’m also a hypochondriac and I worry about TB. 
Tip: It’s much easier if you wear loose *zipper* jeans.
It’s preferable if you don’t know the person fingering you of course, or at least, don’t know them very well. You can get yourself fingered quite readily by getting picked up in selected railway stations around various cities, Karachi (allow for 1 hr), while in Lahore, allow for as much as an afternoon to get picked up. The best time to get fingered seems to be 3pm, husbands at work -ending off shopping trips, who knows. I am not sure why. The absolute worst time is rush hour. Use the furthest, least disturbed cubicles from the door and always, serious now, fucking always, tip the cleaners, both before- and after. Take a box of tampons with you to explain any delays. If you’re having to linger at the washbowls, glancing into broken mirrors endlessly, waiting for a potential partner and the cleaners don’t come and ask for a tip- you know you’re in the wrong place.
Don’t go on prearranged meetings with women you don’t know. It should be spur of the moment. Safer.
Work fast. The quicker you come, the safer it is.  Never go with rattling bangles, beads, or jewlery that can be whizzed. Don’t go with someone who you wouldn’t ordinarily be seen chatting with in a restaurant or bar, it will just raise supicions. Don’t wear makeup- it smudges and is a dead give away. Take a deodorant with you to freshen up. If the police do catch you, remember, it’s because they think you’re dealing. Invite the said lady constable for a tea, reach deep into your pocket with a generous smile, and remember, the said policewoman is probably bent herself. If not, pull social rank on her. Works everytime, I promise.

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2 responses to “Getting fingered

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